philips

philip was looking at my blog.

"i get to be your ugly boyfriend," he said.

NOOOOO!

i immediately cried.

"you are Handsome Philip."

you'll need to put handsome philip pictures up, he said.

this is handsome chef philip.

(you can tell he's a chef by the socks.)

this is handsome halloween philip.

we're kids. he's 9, i'm six and a half.

this is handsome cutie friend-of-animals philip.

he had birds all over him!

this is handsome my-mouth-is-full-of-food philip.

very worth it.

this is handsome d-bag philip.

(he made me say that.)

and here we have handsome russian philip.

he likes to dress up and be beard-y.

my point is

handsome philips

are all philips.

so THERE, philip!

ticketing!

i bought tickets today!

one way tickets to NEW YORK CITY.

and when i did,

i was just about ready as heck to 

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE

right away.

it's not about leaving, per se.

it's about FLIGHT.

it's about TAKE OFF.

it's about DREAMS and SKY and LIGHTNESS.

it's about me

and my life

and getting to what I've been working for 

for

WELL, LIKE FOREVER.

needless to say,

i was bounding.

i am light.

and i am ready.

stay tuned!

up next!

renting the apartment

philip selling his car

us packing everything up in ten days

and then the biggest adventure begins!

love,

allyson

aaaand we're back!

Hey, Folks--remember me?

I went on super sabbatical for ages.

Turns out, I'm bringing sexy back.

and by "sexy back," i mean, I'm back in the blogging saddle and ready to advocate for myself.

I thought about creating a new blog, but why? I have this beautiful one going strong with history and character, and besides, I still love all kinds of new things every day.

Today I love this, today I love that.

Today I love a glorious return.

In case you don't know the good news, and seeing how my last post on September 18th was about moving to New York, I am HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT I AM, IN FACT, MOVING TO NEW YORK CITY on January 13th.

It's a bit more complicated than that.

Philip got an offer to work with wd~50. He has a friend who works there, and person to person got a call and an email to show his stuff for a couple of weeks and learn a bit about what cooking in the Big Apple is like.

We were both thrilled, of course, and I very quickly encouraged Philip to go.

Long story short, and I don't remember who posed the idea first, but Philip and I both thought that, well, heck, I'll never have enough money and the time couldn't be any more opportune than now to GO, to MOVE, to GET THERE.

So I started looking at what GETTING THERE would mean at this point in my life.

What it means, technically, is couch crashing. It means we arrive in NYC on January 13th, and stay a week with a friend here, and a week with a friend there. I have two weeks of lodging in the books, and figure that gives me enough time to get a few jobs and begin scraping some NYC rent money together. We'll be packing up all our things throughout Jan. 1 and 10th, and pay our rent through February in the hopes that someone will resign a lease with our landlord and help us get out of our contract. 

I did have a lovely job interview with Mt. Sinai Medical Center's PPHS office, in the hopes of returning to a quiet and focused life of research compliance. Restaurant Management sure has been fun, but man oh man if it isn't exhausting. :)

So I'm planning on just seeing what happens!

Next step is to find someone to take over the apartment, writing a couple of heartfelt thank-yous to friends here in Cincy, and packing up what is making the move/tossing out what isn't. 

I'll need to print off copies of my work resumes and my acting resumes, print out headshots, and make certain I can locate my business cards and voice demos (which I'm finally going to be able to use.)

I need to collect legal documents for both Philip and myself, documents that help us get jobs or new bank accounts, and have all our references at the ready for work and apartments.

Mostly, mostly, I need support and momentum. My landlord is expressing his disdain for this plan, and I need the momentum to prove to him that we can and will do this move! 

Now, who's with me?!

Love,

Allyson

new york

out takes

so much work

for one happy photo.

good job, philip.

new phone

this is a beautifully complicated story.

my iphone was stolen.

yesterday.

from work.

and it probably wasn't a fellow employee that did it.

you see,

people in the bistro have told me countless times

"don't leave your phone laying around."

the homeless people/the drugged people/ the crazy people/ the dishonest people

they all frequent the gateway quarter

and they all like to wander in the TOB doors.

"don't leave your phone laying around,"

everyone says

so i don't

but i do :(

and i don't have pockets in soo many of my clothes

so sometimes, down my phone goes, and then, up again, it goes, back into my hands.

not yesterday though

woop!

it was down,

and then

BAM

it was gone.

i knew it right away too

i just knew

PHONE? gone.

PHONE? not where i thought it was.

and so i called it.

no answer.

busy signal.

called again.

busy signal.

dill called it.

no answer

we texted it.

nothing.

i didn't worry about it.

it's a phone!

no big deal.

i've gone without a phone before.

and it was getting glitchy anyway,

shorting out, taking a long time

small glitches i'd ignored because replacing an iphone is not an inexpensive task.

and today,

again,

on my day off, 

good thing,

i went back to the bistro and checked around for it.

no phone.

days off are a weird thing for me.

i'm either so exhausted i can't get out of bed

or i wander around aimlessly wondering what to do before i go back to work the next day.

so i went to church.

and before church,

dill and i went to findlay market, and he bought spices, and we got vietnamese pho, and i rummaged around in my bag and found the three dollars and change i've had for two weeks--literally, the only money i have.

i wanted a coffee. or a latte. or maybe a piece of cake.

but i didn't buy any, and we had a lovely lunch, and dill went to work, and i went to church.

st. mary's on 13th is gorgeous.

big, cathedral-y

the kind of church that you don't have to pay attention in, just listen.

i did.

i prayed, i listened, and when mass was over, 

i headed out the back and saw the votive candles by the door.

$2 says the sign,

and i reach into my bag and pull out my three and change and toss them in the cash collector.

"please, lord,"

(i pray,)

"watch over philip today. may his day be filled with strength, peace, and a good sense of humor,"

and out the door i go.

i hop in my car,

drive to the AT&T store,

and walk in.

i'm unkempt.

a red jersey dress, red sequined heart, and gray keds.

long, wild hair.

dreading what iphone expenses are to come.

i know i can't afford a new phone.

in fact, i know it'll probably be another two months before i get something in my hands.

it's just that kind of money existence for me right now.

but In, i go, to do the responsible thing, and at least see what my options are.

turns out 

i'm in luck.

the AT&T guy, Mike, is fantastic, and he knows and loves my bistro.

turns out, AT&T is having a sale on the exact iphone i have, the iphone 4 for .99 cents.

.99 cents!! i laugh!! .99 cents!!

here i was, all morning, thinking of buying coffee or cake or a latte,

and instead, INSTEAD,

i'm charging an iphone 4 to my credit card for .99 cents.

i die.

i rejoice.

i bless my stars and thank the heavens.

every little glitch worked itself out.

lucky me!

breakfast detritus

the birthday party two days ago was great fun.

and now,

for the first time since moving in

my fridge is actually stocked with food.

it hasn't been stocked for multiple reasons

1) it turns out i don't need that much food at home

i'm paid in meals at work, and one only needs so much.

2) even if i didn't get paid in meals, i get home much too late for dinner.

3) since i get paid in meals, i'm obviously not making a fortune in paycheck so i don't have any cash for that, anyway.

ANYWAY.

the fridge is stocked.

with bacon

sausage

biscuits

cinnamon rolls

two cartons of eggs

milk

juice

and a whole additional quiche.

i'm eating it bit by bit

thank god

or i'd walk away being a carb-loaded blimp of a woman.

i just decided

i just decided i'm moving.

i just made a choice.

i just made the choice.

i can't believe it took me so long.

i can't believe it took me two years.

i just decided i'm moving to new york.

i just decided that.

WOW!

i can believe it!

i finally can believe it!

i'm moving to new york.

i'm working on it.

for about a year.

a big move takes about that much time.

i just decided to begin working on that now.

COOL!

dilly deli

philip 

took me to dilly cafe

for my birthday

saturday night.

we sat outside on the patio

drinking wine

reading the menu

talking about philip's work there

watching couples dancing and kissing 

and loving the fall air.

we lazed during dinner.

we chatted with philip's friends 

we chatted with philip's old kitchen.

we planned and loved and looked at the stars.

later, we sat in the bar with friends

catching up

catching forward

celebrating a wedding and celebrating it all

i wore sequins and green, laughing and dancing and relaxing for now. :)

birthday debris

i woke up around ten this morning

#thankgod i work at 3

and surveyed my apartment for birthday debris.

amazingly, there was little.

philip and i clean well.

in fact

the biggest offender

was that someone had popped all the brussel sprouts out of the vegetarian quiche last night

and there were all these little brussel sprout shaped crevices all over the top of the quiche.

i baked it back up and ate it anyway. :) 

still good.

the birthday was WONDERFUL.

originally, we planned on going camping this weekend, but it didn't work out.

so instead, 

we hosted V.3 of the Monday Night Dinner Series,

which, just happened to coincide with my birthday.

BREAKFAST

screamed the invitation

and breakfast we did have.

Philip and I spent two days preparing!

Sunday was brunch

a trip to his parents' house

where he baked three cakes for my triple layer cake, (mango, pineapple, banana with strawberry-banana icing,)

and we painted dining room chairs in the garage all afternoon.

Monday was equally busy

and lovingly blessed, being my actual birthday,

waking up

brunching

thrift-store shopping for baking and serving ware

back to loveland for the chairs

picked up an additional rug and lamps from his parents' basement

home to unload

groceries

philip's apartment, to pick up cooking things

home to arrange, bake, cook, plan, clean, and party!

the party was BEAUTIFUL

and i had such a gorgeous birthday.

23 was an interesting year

a year of solid ground and patient foundation building

24 starts me yearning for life

yearning for passion, love, and theatre.

i'm re-writing the course of my life, now

deciding and choosing who i want to be.

24 is going to be one of the best years of my life, i can feel it.

the no good, terribly rotten, very bad day

yesterday

was a pretty rotten day.

you wouldn't think it

by looking at that picture of me above

where i'm wearing stripes

and kicks

and holding a mini-golf stick

but it was. 

:)

it started by waking up too late.

in a world right now

where all i do is run run runrunrun

you'd imagine that getting an extra two hours of sleep would feel like heaven.

but it didn't

and i woke up a crankypants

"so much free time! so much time that is mine! wasted!"

i settled down.

drank some coffee.

talked to philip about our plans for the day.

who knows? he said.

we have five hours before we need to be at jeremy's apartment, volunteering to set up for the Big Race,

we can do whatever we want!

we decided on batting cages. or mini-golf. or a silly duck boat tour of the ohio river.

one of them, we'd decided which later,

but for now, some coffee, some lunch, and we'll see what happens.

we did that.

i had a headache.

and we made our way to fairfield for batting cages.

i want to hit things! my body yelled, so i was pumped.

and then the batting cages were closed, so we did mini-golf instead.

and i was very excited!!

mini-golf! what a great thing.

mid-game

in which i improved slightly

and philip remained very good,

philip receives a text setting the tone for the evening.

we were, after all, very pumped about our first ever 5k in which we'd decided to run.

we'd been training for a month

and by training, i mean, running and walking and jogging after work (11:30 pm - 1 or 2 am) in the downtown area.

philip, however, was not to take part.

the race, a "fox and hound" 5k, gives the lady runners a five minute head start. they take off, and five minutes later, the "hounds" come racing after them, trying to catch a foxy lady.

philip needed to go into work,

and i needed to go sulk in my bed at home till it was time to get ready for the race myself.

so i did.

and i ran.

and it was awesome.

and philip got finished with work early and ran down and met me.

and we got ice cream

and the ice cream man gave me the wrong flavor and too much hot sauce

and i couldn't understand how a very terrible day could actually be such a very, very good day.

so we ate ice cream and watched a movie, then kissed each other good night, and i fell asleep like a rock to eliminate the terribly good day variables.

street pops

street pops

delicious morsels of popsicles

of the most divine flavors.

his. 

plum basil.

mine.

cherry limeade.

i thought about sriracha

but chicken-ed out.

life in full swing

things are back to "business as usual,"

in the life of allyson west

and when i say, "business"

i mean, "fun." 

i'm DOING things.

my life is ALIVE.

i moved into a new apartment!

i love being home, being there, sitting at my desk and tippy-typing all morning on various things.

i hang out with friends

go places

concerts and music and food and chatting

i exercise at night

i sleep in

i love my life

love the people

love the conversation 

love the fun

i've friends who say YES with me

who plan things 

and agree before we even know how to make it happen.

we do things

we go places

we sing and shout and LAUGH nonstop

and i love all of these things

my life is full of energy and love.

i love it.

look at this cool book!

in which a very interesting summer comes to an end

but, hello, it's only july 16th.

we'll see what life has next in store for me.

okay, so things have been absolutely crazy lately.

months ago, i landed one of my very happiest jobs, and by far, the job i experience the most success out of, in my entire life.

i'm managing a contemporary bistro in downtown cincinnati.

i'm surrounded by good food, interesting ideas, fascinating people, and i'm learning and working hard

every. single. day.

i'm allowed to be flexible, be innovative, and i have excellent examples above me, in terms of my boss, his boss, and their contemporaries. it's very cool.

so let's look at the pay off of this.

on one hand, i love acting. i looooove it.

but i'm in a constantly slow market, and i don't have enough money to get out of it.

so i understood very quickly that the best i could do for myself was to enjoy myself day after day after day, as best i could.

i found this bistro, and day after day after day i'm excited, encouraged, supported, and interested in the day, product, and people.

THAT is rewarding, and very cool. 

i had to take a ton of time off this summer.

aaron and i went to a wedding in wilmington, north carolina.

then i went to texas for my sister's graduation.

AND i went to iowa for a ten days.

all of this began two weeks after i began working at the bistro

so, in the midst of new schedule (i work 3 pm - 11(or 12, or 1, or 2 am), new location, new wardrobe, new everything, i'm constantly driving/flying/leaving the city for various events.

i'm not in one place at one time. i can't focus because i'm constantly gone.

AND THEN.

and then, i have the opportunity of all opportunities.

months ago, when i was still employed with the university of cincinnati's IRB, i just happened to think, "well, i'm doing something unexpected in a city i'm feeling a need to leave.....why don't i do something unexpected in a city i CHOOSE to be in?"

so i looked online.

and i found a job for a research compliance assistant

and i applied.

that was february.

THEN, all of a sudden, in the middle of all the change mentioned above,

i get a phone call

and they ask me if i'm interested in interviewing for a job in LA.

I SAY YES

and everything about me screams

YES YES YES YES YES.

the job is amazing.

it's in research compliance, a HUGELY important field

and, biggest kicker for me, it has an intense training program

which is THE NUMBER ONE reason i felt so helpless last time i did the work.

i needed help, i asked for help, and nobody could help me.

(it was humiliating.)

and this job solves that problem!

it would pay relocation to get me to LA

it is in beverly hills

it pays enough for me to live in LA (and then some,)

and it solves all the problems i've had my entire life.

all i've wanted

my entire life

is to move to LA

(methinks. my guts tell me one thing and my mind gets swayed by other's expectations of me.)

and suddenly,

i would have been there.

i would have been in the perfect place to act my pants off.

i would have had flexible hours

good and steady pay

important work

and more sunshine than i can handle.

they flew me out there

they paid for everything

and i had an intense four interviews

that i knocked out of the park

i was sitting on santa monica pier watching the sunset and weeping because FINALLY, finally, every decision i'd made in my life, every decision i knew was a good, solid decision i had EVER made in my life, was culminating in that moment, in that visit, and finally, i finished writing the story i'd been writing my entire life. 

i finally was sitting at santa monica pier OF MY OWN ACCORD, of all of my own, lost, faithful, hard work, and it was time to see what was next.

then i tried not to think about it.

my heart was ripped out of my chest last year

when i was PERFECT for a role here in cincinnati

in every single way

perfect perfect perfect

and i knocked it out of the park

and i didn't get it

and i spent SO MUCH TIME being so disappointed in the ways of the world

but

i very quickly learned that even the most perfect things just don't work out. 

then
aaron and i got in a huge fight
and we're working on what this new information means for us.


but

today

when i received official word that the job isn't mine

(and, honestly, it's for a very good reason, they went with someone who had more direct experience in a way they needed,)

i finally breathed a breath of relief for 

RESOLUTION.

now i can see what's next.

now

i'm loving and enjoying my life

and of course i would do that in LA

but i'm doing it here

and i've not lost anything that i didn't have already.

i love my job

i'm loving my life

i'm exploring my options

i will decide what is next,

as i figure it out,

but i'm certain it's going to be amazing

i'm sculpting my dream life with my eyes closed.
i will settle for nothing less.