Ask a Lady: My Best Friend Sucks

okay well like a year ago i went through the hardest part of my life and really, really needed really strong support systems around me. i found them! i had really great family and friends, including my best friend who lives half-way across the country and would check in on me and check in to see how i was doing, and stay updated on what was happening to me.


flashback a year before that, when she came to my graduation and i promised to come to hers.


flashforward to her being there for me, and extending an invitation to come visit her for like, three weeks around christmas time, which i accepted.


so apparently she gets really busy.
and the time for me to make plans about coming to visit happens and i make plans to be there for ten days. and i buy a plane ticket that costs over 300 dollars. and she calls me and is all, umm maybe like seven days. and then calls me again, and says maybe three. then, actually, i think i'm the one doing the calling because she NEVER picks up her phone or calls back and is always busy and always not available, and she ends up telling me that actually she probably won't be able to hang out with me at all when i'm in town because she has things going on and bullsh*t, etc. so i tell her i'm disappointed in her, and i am and just stop talking to her. because, honestly, still recovering kind of and getting my life back on track, i just don't need wishy-washy people in my life.


but now i do not know where to go from here.
she's called me to apologize and i missed the call on accident and listened to the message and didn't hear anything in the message that led me to believe she really had a change of heart. like, she owned up to what she did, but didn't really care.
and i really miss her, really miss my best friend, but.....i just don't need that drama. that childish-ness. who totally blips out on their friends like that?


anyway, her birthday was a little bit ago, and i can't help thinking about her and wondering if i should mend the fences.


thanks for the help


compassion-less

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

herrrrrm.

how interesting.

i've got a situation like that on my hands, as well.

you sound like you're kind of okay with the situation, as is.

so let it play out.

if you're thinking about her, let her know, however you see fit, and let that be enough.

you're so far away anyway that maybe this is one of those "growing apart" places in life, and it's not actually going to affect your day to day life, other than making you miss her.

and that's okay.

missing nice people and nice times happen.

but since you can't actually know how she is operating or what she is choosing in her own life

you're basically just missing the good memories you have of her

which could not even be true to who she is as a person now, anyway.

so just let it go.

it'll figure itself out.

sorry about your heartbreak. :(

love,

lady x