three reasons

1. he was drunk,

2. and he apparently loved waffles.

the two things i knew about him immediately.

he was also well-dressed.

american-pie contemporary

solid brown leather shoes

well fitting jeans

tucked in checked shirt

and nice hair.

a nice smile.

i was in the middle of eight thousand things

"allyson, right?"

he slurred a little bit on the "t" sound. 

apparently his tongue wasn't working.

i paused, looked up.

he was looking so right at me.

"i'm sorry---where have we met?"

"here," he said, "i was in the other day. don't worry though, i know you meet a lot of people."

he wanted a waffle, plain, and he wanted me to get it for him.

like i said, i was in the middle of eight thousand things.

he kept talking to me.

what do you do? how old are you? when did you graduate?

i'm an actress, i told him,

and his immediate response, 'OH i HATE actresses."

i looked up immediately.

"What do YOU do?" i asked politely.

"i'm a POLITICIAN!" he boasted proudly.

"well, whaddaya know--we have something in common: i HATE politicians."

(which is actually true.)

OH! actresses! he said: I bet you get a lot of free stuff here, you're good at lying.

i was obviously offended.

WRONG, i told him. ACTING IS ABOUT OPENING YOUR HEART, BEING SO HONEST IT MAKES YOU MOVE.

"you sound like an actress, " he said,

and then the conversation looped around into the famous actors he knows

and then he said something about a couple of tv shows he likes

and then he talked more about waffles

and finally, out of nowhere, his reason for even being here:

"Do you wanna get a drunk after this?" he gestured around the bistro. He countered "--i'msorry, thatwasjustballsy, wasn't it" he slurred.

this guy was wasting my time.

"No, " i said.

"No," i repeated, "I never accept offers from anyone while i"m at work. My job here is to make sure you have a good time--how can i take you seriously in this situation?" (a good rule of thumb, and a fantastic excuse to turn people down without retaliation :: a reason people respect ::)

"okay," he says, and he pulls out his card, resilient. "Well, if you find yourself under a different situation wanting to go get a drink with me, then you can call me."

i sighed, still trying to get three split checks to my table on the patio and make two desserts all at the same time.

"fine," i said,  and then i lit up a little bit, "you write three good reasons why i should give you a call and get a drink on the back of this card, and maybe i'll think about it."

i mean, i'm a reasonable girl. if he changes my mind, cool.

and then i walked away.

he began writing furiously, paid for his waffles, and triumphantly walked out the door.

i looked at the card.

reason 1: "i don't really hate actresses."

reason 2: "vetted by voters"

reason 3: "can talk with mouth full of waffle"

i laughed, took the card to the bartender and told him the story.

"you're not going to call him, are you?" he grinned.

"and tell him what?" i said. "that i have a fantastic boyfriend that i absolutely love? besides his reasons suck."

and they do.

i gave him a fair shot

for a drink

a conversation

an interesting dinner

and he blew it.

i would pay for my own

i would tell him i have a boyfriend

i would be completely honest, of course.

BUT

i'm a busy lady

and my time is valuable.

three reasons is not too much to ask. :D