mouths of babes

"this is not my kitchen," said aaron.

there's no clutter anywhere."

happy friday: aaron's mac n cheese

aaron is a self-proclaimed fat kid and i'm the self-proclaimed woman in love with him.

here's what he bases his contribution to boys' night off of

except he says "f*ck those shallots," and i gently remind him not to curse in front of the blog.

make some yourself.

then go for a jog.

also--remember the first time i made aaron fat kid brownies?

love you all! happy weekend!

just got this, it made my day

love you, too, lara!

well-penned snark

found these cards yesterday

when i posted a big thankyouiloveyou to all my lovely readers

decided these were too good to pass up

and snagged some favorites to share here.

creativity cards

your new way of saying "i care"

without actually saying it. ;P

ain't no expiration date on luv

we're making a grocery list.

and eating ice cream.

mostly eating ice cream.

we do this sometimes.

come home from work around the same time.

sit down at the table.

eat something like ice cream that is delicious

and chat and goof off and laugh a lot and figure out what we're doing for the evening.

so we're sitting there

laughing like maniacs about something or nothing and everything

and aaron's making a grocery list.

because, actually, and this is a hilarious story

aaron sent me an email that says

"what are we doing friday night? jason's having a boys' night and i wanna go."

i laugh.

i respond,

"i'm working. go. scratch. grunt. have fun."

boys night.

hilarious.

so of course

aaron wants to make gourmet mac n cheese

the likes of which, actually, i'll post the recipe up here soon because i brought it to work to scan it in and get a solid pdf version of it. i mean, recipes from newspapers can only stay magnet-ed to a refrigerator for so long before they no longer work.

so aaron's taking gourmet mac n cheese to boys' night

(so adorable)

and so he's making a grocery list.

and we're eating ice cream.

i look down at my ugandan vanilla bean.

i look across at aaron's salty caramel.

i'd rather be eating the salty caramel

but i actually bought it for him

so i picked the vanilla bean pint out of the freezer for me.

le sigh.

"let's add chocolate sauce to the list,"

i say.

aaron looks up.

"i have some," he says, "in the fridge."

we look.

he does.

i grab it.

and then i pause.

"how long has this been in here?" i pose, suspiciously.

aaron has a penchant for not throwing away things that NEED TO BE THROWN AWAY.

aaron ignores the question.

"this stuff never expires," he says, "like capers." <--another previous conversation where i pull a jar of capers out of the fridge that expired two years ago.

i ignore him.

i look on the bottle.

EXP SEPT 2009

2009?! 2009?!?!?!?!

AARON! This expired in SEPTEMBER of 2009!!

"this stuff never goes bad!" he says, and to prove his point, he pours a little on a spoon and gulps it.

i am apalled.

how COULD ANYONE have something sitting in their fridge FOR THREE YEARS that they've not bothered once to look at. how can you have a piece of ANYTHING sitting somewhere for three years AND NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!

if i have crap that i don't use, that crap gets thrown away, re-purposed, re-organized, or goes into storage. i don't have crap sitting around that i don't need.

so this "exp 2009" thing is just so far beyond me that i'm dying laughing.

i look at aaron.

his eyes are twinkling.

i mean, he did just swallow a little spoonful of chemicals from 2009.

"what hospital should i take you to, before you pass out?" i ask him.

he laughs. pours himself a little more.

his lips turn down at the corner a wee bit.

"it's fine," he says.

"i'm not eating it," i say, "put chocolate syrup on the list."

we're at an impasse.

so aaron whips out the phone, and we call The Expert.

His mom, who is a pharmacist, a baker, a lady into all kinds of super cool things, and just awesome, in general.

She mirrors what Aaron says, "this stuff never expires," and he looks at me triumphantly.

We continue talking.

"Well, was it sitting out?" she asks. "There could be mold on the inside of the bottle. Things you can't see."

It wasn't sitting out, but the mold scares Aaron enough that he concedes.

"Okay we're both right," he says, and he's right, we are both right, although, technically, i'm totally completely more right because if someone would just get a bee out of his bonnet about having to be Right, then someone would realize that it's not a good idea to eat two eensy spoonfuls of three year old fake-chocolate flavored processed high fructose corn syrup.

we threw it away.

i bought some more.

the end.

hey, everyone!

i want to just thank you all for being so responsive and so encouraging in regards to the stories i've posted lately about aaron and myself living in non-wedded bliss.

it is hugely amazing to have such resounding responses from my readers

real women

real friends

who have experienced these same things, and can relate.

ALL OF YOUR FEEDBACK MAKES MY DAY!

all of your stories and similar-tales just positively freaking crack me up.

i love hearing them.

so, let them pour!

today i love

YOU.

WHUMP

my absolute

most favorite thing to do

in the entire world right now

is

a

HEADSTAND.

about three weeks ago

aaron and i took an afternoon yoga class

and the teacher was not having me only mildly challenge myself.

"LET'S DO HEADSTANDS"

she said.

and i can't do headstands, are you kidding me?

those are for people who can do more than just barely stand on their own two feet without falling over in yoga class (which i totally do, my balance poses are not the  most awesome.)

so this teacher had us all pull our mats to the wall.

and then she walked us through it

step

by

step.

and suddenly!

i wasn't doing it.

i mean, i got the idea of it, but i rarely use my core strength like i need to

and i just couldn't get up.

Master Dictator Yoga Instructor marched over to me.

"I've got you," she said, "just go."

so here's the thing.

there's a lot of things i believe i'm not yet strong enough to do.

like headstands.

but as soon as someone

that i know has far greater experience and knowledge in a given field says

"go. you can do this."

i try.

and they often will help me and guide me and spot me through it

and suddenly

i'm so very happy to be doing amazing things.

such it was with this headstand.

suddenly!

i'm balancing my weight upside down on my head.

i've built my body up

used my core and grrrrrrrrrrr pulled into my abs

and BAM

i'm upside down.

i look over at aaron, who is watching, having already been upsdie down a few times (he's awesome like that,) and he's just grinning like a big goofball.

that headstand was amazing.

and it's all i ever want to do anymore.

i take yoga twice a week now.

i used to do it close to four or five times a week

and gosh! i still wish i did, and maybe i will,

but i'm finding balance between sleeping, waitressing, working, and exercising still.

anyway, last tuesday, i woke up at 5:20 to make it across town in time for a 6 am yoga class.

we didn't do headstands, and i was totally disappointed.

when i got back home, i quietly scanned the new space in the kitchen.

what with all the cleaning and organizing (the like of which makes aaron practically pull his hair out,) there was a beautiful expanse of floor just calling for me to work on.

so i did.

i rolled my yoga mat out into the kitchen

scooched it up and shifted it a little

and then

placed my hands

placed my head

walked my feet up

and jumped my legs into the air.

i held, suspended, for maybe three strong solid seconds

and then

WHUMP

my back tottered down and i solidly hit the floor like a felled tree.

i paused.

waited to see if aaron's slumber was even mildly roused by an unexpected WHUMP at 7:30 in the morning in his kitchen.

it wasn't.

:)

i went back to my practice.



cheerios

a couple of days ago

i had a very

important

decision

 to make.

see....

i needed breakfast.

a small one.

i wasn't too hungry,

but i'd be working non-stop at Taste of Belgium for the next five hours

and there's no way i could go to that shift without putting a teensy tinsy bit of fuel in my tank.

i just needed a bit.

and it needed to be carb-y.

so i looked at what we had.

cheerios.

and i looked at how much was left.

not a lot.

gosh.

i thought.

gosh.

i poured about 1/2 of the eensy beensy bit of cheerios that was left into a bowl. it covered a little more than the bottom, but really! honestly! i didn't need a lot! i wasn't that hungry!

and then i looked at the bag.

there was still 1/2 an eensy beensy amount of cheerios left in the bag.

what to do with them?

do i eat them? i mean, it's 1/2 an eensy beensy amount. but if i eat them, then i've overeaten what i need and i just don't want that to become a pattern, ever.

do i toss them?

NO. of course not. i hate wasting food.

do i leave them?

WEEEEEEELLLLLLLL.

I KNEW

that if aaron just so magically happened to want cheerios between this moment, and tomorrow morning, that he would be FLOORED. in all honesty, WHO LEAVE A 1/2 AN EENSY BEENSY BIT OF CHEERIOS IN THE BAG?

well......i do.

and i did.

i took my chances.

aaron had eat two bowls of cheerios that week, and we had three kinds of cereal.  the odds were in my favor that he wouldn't want cheerios today, and i wouldn't have to over eat, and i would still have another meal for tomorrow. the odds were in my favor.

like i said

i took my chances.

later that night

i'm lying on the couch upstairs, exhausted.

aaron heads downstairs.

and i just know.

he's

going

for

the

cereal.

ijustknowit.

i hear the cabinet door open, i hear the box in his hand, and i hear him scream.

he comes upstairs, looks at me, and i look dead back at him:

"Cheerios, right?"

**in my defense, i ended up explaining my rationale to aaron in the following moments as he stood dumbfounded that anyone would leave 1/2 an eensy beensy bit of cheerios in the bag. i even explained about "the odds in my favor," and "taking a risk that you weren't going to want cheerios tonight!" he just shook his head. "sure, it makes sense. in Allyson-World."

old ladies suck sometimes

so the bistro had a meltdown last night.

our front-of-house POS systems wouldn't send food tickets to the back.

meaning

that every time an order got punched into the system

it would randomly print the order

anywhere else but the kitchen.

thank god it was a tuesday.

if this was prime rush hour, this would have been a mess!

every order had to be ran to the back and validated with the kitchen.

and with lots of people running tickets back and forth

it got confusing.

IN FACT.

my manager, andrew,

who is awesome, by the way

grabbed one of my tickets

as he was trying to fix the system.

"great!"

i thought,

"andrew has it."

twenty minutes later

i noticed my food still hadn't come out.

i went to table 401.

it was two little old ladies

walking ten feet from the bistro

to the theatre next door at 7:30.

"the kitchen sends their apologies,"

i said.

"we're having technical problems today."

"well we have a curtain to make at 7:30."

i looked at the clock.

it was 6:30.

this was not going to be a problem.

"Fantastic,"

i said.

I will get you out of here right on time.

I talked to the kitchen.

Placed an order on the fly

and let it simmer.

Walked back through the bistro....

and out of the corner of my eye

caught Sassy Lady 1

FLASHING ME HER WRIST AND GESTURING TO HER WATCH.

I was a little taken aback.

Hadn't I just had this conversation with them? With the sassy ladies? Didn't I explain what was happening, tell them I was sorry, get their food expedited, and take care of them? I refilled their waters and checked on their wine. And now, as if I hadn't said a single damn thing to them, sassy lady 1 is flashing me the time of day.

I nodded to her, bustled back to the kitchen.

Shortly, our hostess for the night joins me

"those ladies..." she says, and I say I KNOW.

Sassy Ladies are giving Kate a hard time, too.

I walk out to the front.

The Ladies glare at me, pointedly, then sigh heavily and look away.

I walk over to the table.

Hello, could I get you another drink while we wait for your food? I've just checked, and it will be out in no time.

I don't know what was actually said to me (i don't speak old woman,) but it sounded condescending and as if i couldn't possibly know what i was doing and did i know they had a curtain to make at 7:30?

Yes, ma'am, I understand.

I checked their food.

Practically ready.

Went and found my manager.

Asked him to make an appearance at the table with me.

He did.

The food arrived.

The manager talked.

They didn't listen.

They stared at their food and complained.

(fries? i don't want the fries! i didn't tell you, but i don't want them.)

so they got their food

and the service continued.

"how is your dinner," i asked.

it's fine

they grumbled

between mouthfuls.

and then they were ready to leave.

i had their checks waiting, presented them at 7:10, and they were ready to go.

EXCEPT

for their parting shots

where sassy lady 1 who "is a teacher, so she knows," had taken it upon herself to school the hostess and myself about our performance in the restaurant that evening.

we both told her thank you and that we understood and that we hoped she enjoyed her show.

it was ridiculous.

these women obviously didn't listen to anyone at the bistro this evening.

she chose to believe that i was ignoring them, and their visit to our restaurant, instead of the reality, which is that our kitchen wasn't getting the info they needed, we were solving the problem, i was well aware of their misfortune, and i was looking for their food at all times. my manager re-iterated that, the hostess re-iterated that, everyone appeased them.

"look, you're a sweetheart, and we decided not to take this out of your tip, but i want to tell you that there are some people in the world who are not as kind as we are. that this looks like a nice place and you need to work to make the customers happy."

then she benevolently touched my shoulder and walked out.

i was just disgusted.

and i totally love people.

but selfish-ness i cannot abide.

anyway, sassy lady 1 left her credit card on my table so i walked next door and handed it back.

+ 1 service, my friends, + 1 service.

additionally

the bistro hosted an event

that BEGAN at ten p.m.

last night

and included a lot of free food

meaning

nobody ordered a thing

the whole extra two hours i worked at the bistro after working all day long at my day job.

15 hour work day?

sure.

it was totally fun

because i love who i'm working with

(ray and jackie and andrew and justin and jeremy and david and phil)

but

i'm so tired i feel like i'm drunk today.

i'm chugging tea and juice and water

anything

to get me un-dehydrated

and keeping my feet up.

owowowowowowowowowwo

oh! but i got us all free shift meals.

it wasn't my idea

it was ray's

that because we were working for an extra two hours

we should ask for a shift meal

but he didn't want to ask

and i always totally will

so i did

and i got 'em!

and we all have one shift meal sitting in the shift meal bank.

huzzah!

splendid things

okay

so months ago i blogged about jeni's ice cream

and that i wanted aaron to take me on a date.

i mean

i KINDA blogged about it

and then later

he actually did take me on a date!

that involved jeni's ice cream.

and i didn't reeeeaaaallly blog about it then

because i was in the beginning of my "blogger depression"

where i just posted photos for you guys for awhile

until i got back into my mojo.

well, obvs my mojo is starting to come back

because OBVS i'm posting more and more things

obvs.

OKAY WELL ANYWAY!!

so i'm a die-hard ice cream racist.

meaning.

i love the ice cream that is the only ice cream i know

and i rarely love any other kinds

simply because they are different

and not what i'm used to.

meaning

I LOVE THE DAIRY QUEEN ICE CREAM IN FARMERSVILLE

and

i love bluebell ice cream.

which is, honestly, super super tasty.

but only available in texas.

i always justify the "i-only-like-farmersville's-dairy-queen-ice-cream"

by saying

that all other dairy queen's along the highways

just don't have that

second-hand smoke and grease and unibrow sweat in them

that the farmersville dq has.

and the bluebell?

well....it's bluebell.

ALL THAT CHANGED WHEN I HAD JENI'S ICE CREAM.

because, my friends,

jeni's ice cream is much more than superb.

it is creamy.

it is decadent.

it is varied, and complex, and unassuming, and light, and pure.

it speaks to the informed woman inside of me

coos to her

pleases her

whispers in her ear.

it delights her.

so i love jeni's ice cream.

and i was all "HEY FRIENDS GO EAT THIS ICE CREAM"

and really, suddenly, one of them totally did.

and then,

because my friend Lara is a woman who takes things one step further

she texted me and was all

"YOU KNOW

you can buy jeni's ice cream at all ohio whole foods stores"

and i went AAAAAAUUUGGGGHHH I'M BUYING SOME RIGHT NOW.

and then i did.

pretty much right away.

because i so happened to be in the car

on my way to buy groceries.

and because i was so proud of my exceptional work weekend

where i worked so freaking hard

and because i was so proud of aaron painting the ceiling and making such exceptional headway on the house

and because i was so in love with myself for feeling good about my hard work

and because i was so in love with aaron for working hard on the house

i made a detour

and bought some

ASAP!

now, i'm not gonna mention how much it costs to buy these babies in store

although

it's not as expensive as buying them online

but i will tell you it is definitely an

"only sometimes"

kind of purchase

(even though jeni's has me totally, completely hooked and all i want to do is eat through every single one of their flavors forever.)

it was completely PRICEY

so much to the point that i almost didn't buy them getting there,

but realized i didn't want to detour all the way out there for NUTHIN

and got 'em.

please let me say

that they were probably worth it.

that ice cream is beyond delightful.

i picked up salty caramel (for aaron)

and ugandan vanilla bean (for me)

and ate them both.

and even though aaron was all

no i don't want any i'm happy already

i put extra in my bowl when i made it

because i knew he was going to eat some

as soon as he had a teensy weensy bite.

and he did.

and we were both happy as clams not being cooked.

and finally!

we have a post!

on

Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams

non-wedded bliss

so things are going well in the land of non-wedded-bliss.

first of all

i'm working like a maniac at the bistro

and it is ENTIRELY paying off.

i made over THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS

in one weekend at the bistro

at most, a total of hmmmmmm

fourteen hours?

21 dollars per hour?

YEAH

i can get into that.

granted, friday night

i had one table

and made EIGHT DOLLARS.

but it obviously balances out.

THANK GOD

for this job, too.

because

even though i'm working like a maniac

and i always smell like waffles

i paid my entire student loan bill last month

and all my other expenses

on these tips alone.

*sings praises*

and in all honesty,

once i get used to working all the time

and knowing what it feels like to have dead feet and such

once i get used to all of that

it's not so bad, at all.

i was thrilled beyond belief to come home and see aaron working on the house.

the house was a complete and utter bachelor pad before i moved in.

and now, shazzzaaaaamm! in the space of like, THREE DAYS,

it looks absolutely gorgeous.

i mean, it's getting there

but once aaron finishes off some odd-jobs he's been working on

and puts his tools away

and clears out some junk

you can really see the result of all the time and $$$ he's put into this house!

the kitchen is TO DIE FOR,

super amazing gorgeous.

i'm really looking forward to getting in and essentially "accenting" it.

aaron has all these really amazing things in his house

that will really make a nice, warm atmosphere

once they're shaped up, just a bit.

so i'll come home from work,

and aaron's painting the ceiling

or organizing

and we just start chatting about everything and anything and all things.

and yesterday i went for a couple-miles jog (wahoo!)

AND

ran errands

AND

made us dinner

and it was just super spectacular!!

i'm so happy to be hitting

such a nice and comfortable place

with aaron in this new home!

sure

always look on the bright side of life

i moved!

this is aaron.

he makes me smile.

he makes me smile

especially

when he's standing next to a cheery blue book case and a lime green couch

stuffed in an elevator

on the second journey

to the house that he owns

that he's taken to calling "our home."

I moved!

Six months ago

Aaron asked me to be his roommate.

"umm.....no."

i said.

then we started dating.

and six months later i'm bawling and crying because my work didn't pay me what they said they would (LESSON LEARNED, EVERYONE,) and Aaron looks at me and says, "you know.....you could always move in here if you wanted to. i want you in here with me, if things start falling apart."

and then i thought about it for two weeks

my apartment! my pretty things! my bills!

and then moved in asap.

aaron and i wrote a co-habitant agreement

and i spent the week moving my boxes o' stuff, over.

and then, last night, last night!

we got it all moved over

and i turned in my keys.

"i live with you now," i said, to aaron, and we hugged.

so that's it!

i moved in!

loads more stories about life as a young couple to come!

the pen is mightier than the sword! (sometimes)

i am always writing something.

that is

if i'm not in a slump

or a lifestyle "writers' block,"

or a something. :P

but i'm writing again!

a play!

maybe?

who knows what it might be!