Saturday, March 31, 2012

mouths of babes

"this is not my kitchen," said aaron.
there's no clutter anywhere."

Friday, March 30, 2012

happy friday: aaron's mac n cheese

aaron is a self-proclaimed fat kid and i'm the self-proclaimed woman in love with him.
here's what he bases his contribution to boys' night off of
except he says "f*ck those shallots," and i gently remind him not to curse in front of the blog.

make some yourself.
then go for a jog.

love you all! happy weekend!

just got this, it made my day

love you, too, lara!

well-penned snark

found these cards yesterday

when i posted a big thankyouiloveyou to all my lovely readers

decided these were too good to pass up

and snagged some favorites to share here.

your new way of saying "i care"
without actually saying it. ;P

Thursday, March 29, 2012

ain't no expiration date on luv

we're making a grocery list.

and eating ice cream.
mostly eating ice cream.

we do this sometimes.
come home from work around the same time.
sit down at the table.
eat something like ice cream that is delicious
and chat and goof off and laugh a lot and figure out what we're doing for the evening.

so we're sitting there
laughing like maniacs about something or nothing and everything
and aaron's making a grocery list.

because, actually, and this is a hilarious story
aaron sent me an email that says
"what are we doing friday night? jason's having a boys' night and i wanna go."

i laugh.

i respond,
"i'm working. go. scratch. grunt. have fun."

boys night.

so of course
aaron wants to make gourmet mac n cheese
the likes of which, actually, i'll post the recipe up here soon because i brought it to work to scan it in and get a solid pdf version of it. i mean, recipes from newspapers can only stay magnet-ed to a refrigerator for so long before they no longer work.

so aaron's taking gourmet mac n cheese to boys' night
(so adorable)
and so he's making a grocery list.

and we're eating ice cream.

i look down at my ugandan vanilla bean.
i look across at aaron's salty caramel.
i'd rather be eating the salty caramel
but i actually bought it for him
so i picked the vanilla bean pint out of the freezer for me.

le sigh.
"let's add chocolate sauce to the list,"
i say.

aaron looks up.
"i have some," he says, "in the fridge."

we look.
he does.
i grab it.
and then i pause.

"how long has this been in here?" i pose, suspiciously.
aaron has a penchant for not throwing away things that NEED TO BE THROWN AWAY.

aaron ignores the question.
"this stuff never expires," he says, "like capers." <--another previous conversation where i pull a jar of capers out of the fridge that expired two years ago.

i ignore him.
i look on the bottle.


2009?! 2009?!?!?!?!

AARON! This expired in SEPTEMBER of 2009!!

"this stuff never goes bad!" he says, and to prove his point, he pours a little on a spoon and gulps it.

i am apalled.
how COULD ANYONE have something sitting in their fridge FOR THREE YEARS that they've not bothered once to look at. how can you have a piece of ANYTHING sitting somewhere for three years AND NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!

if i have crap that i don't use, that crap gets thrown away, re-purposed, re-organized, or goes into storage. i don't have crap sitting around that i don't need.

so this "exp 2009" thing is just so far beyond me that i'm dying laughing.

i look at aaron.
his eyes are twinkling.
i mean, he did just swallow a little spoonful of chemicals from 2009.

"what hospital should i take you to, before you pass out?" i ask him.

he laughs. pours himself a little more.
his lips turn down at the corner a wee bit.
"it's fine," he says.
"i'm not eating it," i say, "put chocolate syrup on the list."

we're at an impasse.
so aaron whips out the phone, and we call The Expert.
His mom, who is a pharmacist, a baker, a lady into all kinds of super cool things, and just awesome, in general.
She mirrors what Aaron says, "this stuff never expires," and he looks at me triumphantly.
We continue talking.
"Well, was it sitting out?" she asks. "There could be mold on the inside of the bottle. Things you can't see."

It wasn't sitting out, but the mold scares Aaron enough that he concedes.

"Okay we're both right," he says, and he's right, we are both right, although, technically, i'm totally completely more right because if someone would just get a bee out of his bonnet about having to be Right, then someone would realize that it's not a good idea to eat two eensy spoonfuls of three year old fake-chocolate flavored processed high fructose corn syrup.

we threw it away.
i bought some more.
the end.

hey, everyone!

i want to just thank you all for being so responsive and so encouraging in regards to the stories i've posted lately about aaron and myself living in non-wedded bliss.

it is hugely amazing to have such resounding responses from my readers
real women
real friends
who have experienced these same things, and can relate.

all of your stories and similar-tales just positively freaking crack me up.

i love hearing them.
so, let them pour!

today i love


my absolute
most favorite thing to do
in the entire world right now




about three weeks ago
aaron and i took an afternoon yoga class
and the teacher was not having me only mildly challenge myself.


she said.

and i can't do headstands, are you kidding me?
those are for people who can do more than just barely stand on their own two feet without falling over in yoga class (which i totally do, my balance poses are not the  most awesome.)

so this teacher had us all pull our mats to the wall.
and then she walked us through it

and suddenly!

i wasn't doing it.
i mean, i got the idea of it, but i rarely use my core strength like i need to
and i just couldn't get up.

Master Dictator Yoga Instructor marched over to me.
"I've got you," she said, "just go."

so here's the thing.
there's a lot of things i believe i'm not yet strong enough to do.
like headstands.
but as soon as someone
that i know has far greater experience and knowledge in a given field says
"go. you can do this."
i try.
and they often will help me and guide me and spot me through it
and suddenly
i'm so very happy to be doing amazing things.

such it was with this headstand.
i'm balancing my weight upside down on my head.
i've built my body up
used my core and grrrrrrrrrrr pulled into my abs
and BAM
i'm upside down.

i look over at aaron, who is watching, having already been upsdie down a few times (he's awesome like that,) and he's just grinning like a big goofball.

that headstand was amazing.
and it's all i ever want to do anymore.

i take yoga twice a week now.
i used to do it close to four or five times a week
and gosh! i still wish i did, and maybe i will,
but i'm finding balance between sleeping, waitressing, working, and exercising still.

anyway, last tuesday, i woke up at 5:20 to make it across town in time for a 6 am yoga class.
we didn't do headstands, and i was totally disappointed.

when i got back home, i quietly scanned the new space in the kitchen.
what with all the cleaning and organizing (the like of which makes aaron practically pull his hair out,) there was a beautiful expanse of floor just calling for me to work on.

so i did.

i rolled my yoga mat out into the kitchen
scooched it up and shifted it a little
and then
placed my hands
placed my head
walked my feet up
and jumped my legs into the air.

i held, suspended, for maybe three strong solid seconds

and then

my back tottered down and i solidly hit the floor like a felled tree.

i paused.
waited to see if aaron's slumber was even mildly roused by an unexpected WHUMP at 7:30 in the morning in his kitchen.

it wasn't.

i went back to my practice.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


a couple of days ago
i had a very
 to make.

i needed breakfast.

a small one.
i wasn't too hungry,
but i'd be working non-stop at Taste of Belgium for the next five hours
and there's no way i could go to that shift without putting a teensy tinsy bit of fuel in my tank.

i just needed a bit.
and it needed to be carb-y.

so i looked at what we had.


and i looked at how much was left.

not a lot.

i thought.

i poured about 1/2 of the eensy beensy bit of cheerios that was left into a bowl. it covered a little more than the bottom, but really! honestly! i didn't need a lot! i wasn't that hungry!

and then i looked at the bag.

there was still 1/2 an eensy beensy amount of cheerios left in the bag.

what to do with them?

do i eat them? i mean, it's 1/2 an eensy beensy amount. but if i eat them, then i've overeaten what i need and i just don't want that to become a pattern, ever.

do i toss them?
NO. of course not. i hate wasting food.

do i leave them?

that if aaron just so magically happened to want cheerios between this moment, and tomorrow morning, that he would be FLOORED. in all honesty, WHO LEAVE A 1/2 AN EENSY BEENSY BIT OF CHEERIOS IN THE BAG?

well......i do.
and i did.
i took my chances.
aaron had eat two bowls of cheerios that week, and we had three kinds of cereal.  the odds were in my favor that he wouldn't want cheerios today, and i wouldn't have to over eat, and i would still have another meal for tomorrow. the odds were in my favor.

like i said
i took my chances.

later that night
i'm lying on the couch upstairs, exhausted.
aaron heads downstairs.
and i just know.







i hear the cabinet door open, i hear the box in his hand, and i hear him scream.

he comes upstairs, looks at me, and i look dead back at him:

"Cheerios, right?"

**in my defense, i ended up explaining my rationale to aaron in the following moments as he stood dumbfounded that anyone would leave 1/2 an eensy beensy bit of cheerios in the bag. i even explained about "the odds in my favor," and "taking a risk that you weren't going to want cheerios tonight!" he just shook his head. "sure, it makes sense. in Allyson-World."

old ladies suck sometimes

so the bistro had a meltdown last night.

our front-of-house POS systems wouldn't send food tickets to the back.
that every time an order got punched into the system
it would randomly print the order
anywhere else but the kitchen.

thank god it was a tuesday.
if this was prime rush hour, this would have been a mess!

every order had to be ran to the back and validated with the kitchen.
and with lots of people running tickets back and forth
it got confusing.

my manager, andrew,
who is awesome, by the way
grabbed one of my tickets
as he was trying to fix the system.

i thought,
"andrew has it."

twenty minutes later
i noticed my food still hadn't come out.

i went to table 401.

it was two little old ladies
walking ten feet from the bistro
to the theatre next door at 7:30.

"the kitchen sends their apologies,"
i said.
"we're having technical problems today."

"well we have a curtain to make at 7:30."

i looked at the clock.
it was 6:30.
this was not going to be a problem.

i said.
I will get you out of here right on time.

I talked to the kitchen.
Placed an order on the fly
and let it simmer.

Walked back through the bistro....
and out of the corner of my eye
caught Sassy Lady 1

I was a little taken aback.
Hadn't I just had this conversation with them? With the sassy ladies? Didn't I explain what was happening, tell them I was sorry, get their food expedited, and take care of them? I refilled their waters and checked on their wine. And now, as if I hadn't said a single damn thing to them, sassy lady 1 is flashing me the time of day.

I nodded to her, bustled back to the kitchen.

Shortly, our hostess for the night joins me
"those ladies..." she says, and I say I KNOW.

Sassy Ladies are giving Kate a hard time, too.
I walk out to the front.
The Ladies glare at me, pointedly, then sigh heavily and look away.
I walk over to the table.

Hello, could I get you another drink while we wait for your food? I've just checked, and it will be out in no time.

I don't know what was actually said to me (i don't speak old woman,) but it sounded condescending and as if i couldn't possibly know what i was doing and did i know they had a curtain to make at 7:30?

Yes, ma'am, I understand.

I checked their food.
Practically ready.
Went and found my manager.
Asked him to make an appearance at the table with me.
He did.

The food arrived.
The manager talked.
They didn't listen.
They stared at their food and complained.
(fries? i don't want the fries! i didn't tell you, but i don't want them.)

so they got their food
and the service continued.

"how is your dinner," i asked.
it's fine
they grumbled
between mouthfuls.

and then they were ready to leave.
i had their checks waiting, presented them at 7:10, and they were ready to go.

for their parting shots
where sassy lady 1 who "is a teacher, so she knows," had taken it upon herself to school the hostess and myself about our performance in the restaurant that evening.

we both told her thank you and that we understood and that we hoped she enjoyed her show.

it was ridiculous.
these women obviously didn't listen to anyone at the bistro this evening.
she chose to believe that i was ignoring them, and their visit to our restaurant, instead of the reality, which is that our kitchen wasn't getting the info they needed, we were solving the problem, i was well aware of their misfortune, and i was looking for their food at all times. my manager re-iterated that, the hostess re-iterated that, everyone appeased them.

"look, you're a sweetheart, and we decided not to take this out of your tip, but i want to tell you that there are some people in the world who are not as kind as we are. that this looks like a nice place and you need to work to make the customers happy."

then she benevolently touched my shoulder and walked out.

i was just disgusted.
and i totally love people.
but selfish-ness i cannot abide.

anyway, sassy lady 1 left her credit card on my table so i walked next door and handed it back.

+ 1 service, my friends, + 1 service.

the bistro hosted an event
that BEGAN at ten p.m.
last night
and included a lot of free food
nobody ordered a thing
the whole extra two hours i worked at the bistro after working all day long at my day job.
15 hour work day?

it was totally fun
because i love who i'm working with
(ray and jackie and andrew and justin and jeremy and david and phil)
i'm so tired i feel like i'm drunk today.
i'm chugging tea and juice and water
to get me un-dehydrated
and keeping my feet up.

oh! but i got us all free shift meals.
it wasn't my idea
it was ray's
that because we were working for an extra two hours
we should ask for a shift meal
but he didn't want to ask
and i always totally will
so i did
and i got 'em!
and we all have one shift meal sitting in the shift meal bank.


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

splendid things

so months ago i blogged about jeni's ice cream

i mean
i KINDA blogged about it
and then later
that involved jeni's ice cream.

and i didn't reeeeaaaallly blog about it then
because i was in the beginning of my "blogger depression"
where i just posted photos for you guys for awhile
until i got back into my mojo.

well, obvs my mojo is starting to come back
because OBVS i'm posting more and more things


so i'm a die-hard ice cream racist.
i love the ice cream that is the only ice cream i know
and i rarely love any other kinds
simply because they are different
and not what i'm used to.

i love bluebell ice cream.
which is, honestly, super super tasty.

but only available in texas.

i always justify the "i-only-like-farmersville's-dairy-queen-ice-cream"
by saying
that all other dairy queen's along the highways
just don't have that
second-hand smoke and grease and unibrow sweat in them
that the farmersville dq has.

and the bluebell?'s bluebell.


because, my friends,
jeni's ice cream is much more than superb.

it is creamy.
it is decadent.
it is varied, and complex, and unassuming, and light, and pure.

it speaks to the informed woman inside of me
coos to her
pleases her
whispers in her ear.

it delights her.

so i love jeni's ice cream.

and really, suddenly, one of them totally did.
and then,
because my friend Lara is a woman who takes things one step further
she texted me and was all
you can buy jeni's ice cream at all ohio whole foods stores"

and then i did.
pretty much right away.
because i so happened to be in the car
on my way to buy groceries.

and because i was so proud of my exceptional work weekend
where i worked so freaking hard
and because i was so proud of aaron painting the ceiling and making such exceptional headway on the house
and because i was so in love with myself for feeling good about my hard work
and because i was so in love with aaron for working hard on the house
i made a detour
and bought some

now, i'm not gonna mention how much it costs to buy these babies in store
it's not as expensive as buying them online
but i will tell you it is definitely an
"only sometimes"
kind of purchase
(even though jeni's has me totally, completely hooked and all i want to do is eat through every single one of their flavors forever.)
it was completely PRICEY
so much to the point that i almost didn't buy them getting there,
but realized i didn't want to detour all the way out there for NUTHIN
and got 'em.

please let me say
that they were probably worth it.
that ice cream is beyond delightful.

i picked up salty caramel (for aaron)
and ugandan vanilla bean (for me)

and ate them both.
and even though aaron was all
no i don't want any i'm happy already

i put extra in my bowl when i made it
because i knew he was going to eat some
as soon as he had a teensy weensy bite.

and he did.
and we were both happy as clams not being cooked.

and finally!
we have a post!

Monday, March 26, 2012

non-wedded bliss

so things are going well in the land of non-wedded-bliss.

first of all
i'm working like a maniac at the bistro
and it is ENTIRELY paying off.

in one weekend at the bistro
at most, a total of hmmmmmm
fourteen hours?

21 dollars per hour?
i can get into that.

granted, friday night
i had one table
but it obviously balances out.

for this job, too.
even though i'm working like a maniac
and i always smell like waffles
i paid my entire student loan bill last month
and all my other expenses
on these tips alone.

*sings praises*

and in all honesty,
once i get used to working all the time
and knowing what it feels like to have dead feet and such
once i get used to all of that
it's not so bad, at all.

i was thrilled beyond belief to come home and see aaron working on the house.
the house was a complete and utter bachelor pad before i moved in.
and now, shazzzaaaaamm! in the space of like, THREE DAYS,
it looks absolutely gorgeous.
i mean, it's getting there

but once aaron finishes off some odd-jobs he's been working on
and puts his tools away
and clears out some junk

you can really see the result of all the time and $$$ he's put into this house!
the kitchen is TO DIE FOR,
super amazing gorgeous.

i'm really looking forward to getting in and essentially "accenting" it.
aaron has all these really amazing things in his house
that will really make a nice, warm atmosphere
once they're shaped up, just a bit.

so i'll come home from work,
and aaron's painting the ceiling
or organizing
and we just start chatting about everything and anything and all things.

and yesterday i went for a couple-miles jog (wahoo!)
ran errands
made us dinner
and it was just super spectacular!!

i'm so happy to be hitting
such a nice and comfortable place
with aaron in this new home!

Friday, March 23, 2012

i moved!

this is aaron.

he makes me smile.

he makes me smile
when he's standing next to a cheery blue book case and a lime green couch
stuffed in an elevator
on the second journey
to the house that he owns
that he's taken to calling "our home."

I moved!

Six months ago
Aaron asked me to be his roommate.
i said.

then we started dating.
and six months later i'm bawling and crying because my work didn't pay me what they said they would (LESSON LEARNED, EVERYONE,) and Aaron looks at me and says, "you could always move in here if you wanted to. i want you in here with me, if things start falling apart."

and then i thought about it for two weeks
my apartment! my pretty things! my bills!

and then moved in asap.
aaron and i wrote a co-habitant agreement
and i spent the week moving my boxes o' stuff, over.

and then, last night, last night!
we got it all moved over
and i turned in my keys.

"i live with you now," i said, to aaron, and we hugged.

so that's it!
i moved in!

loads more stories about life as a young couple to come!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

the pen is mightier than the sword! (sometimes)

i am always writing something.

that is
if i'm not in a slump

or a lifestyle "writers' block,"

or a something. :P

but i'm writing again!
a play!


who knows what it might be!

go left!

so things be crazy!
life is bizarre!

remember this post about seeing what is right in front of me?
reminds me of it
in a very nice way.

thank you, poster, you have managed to sum it up quite nicely.

people are different

i grew up in a house full of laughter.

a house full of sunshine
and a house full of connection.

every morning
all my brothers and sisters and my parents and I
would branch off into our days.

we'd go to school
we'd go to college class
we'd go to rehearsal or practice or tutoring sessions.

someone would take the little one to the baby sitter
and someone was already gone for hours at work.

we lived our lives.

every day
everyone collected back at home.

one by one by one by one
we'd walk in the door
find someone else
say hello
catch up

and then continue on.
CONNECTION came first.

"hello! i'm home!"

"okay! how was your day?"

my coach/teacher/professor/boss was in a good/bad/awesome/okay mood.

we connected.
and then split off again.

after the hello
after the "i see you, i love you, you are important to me,"
we would go to our rooms, the shower, outside, the living room, wherever.

and life continued.

this is what i'm used to.
this is what i love.
this is what's different.