Thursday, March 29, 2012


my absolute
most favorite thing to do
in the entire world right now




about three weeks ago
aaron and i took an afternoon yoga class
and the teacher was not having me only mildly challenge myself.


she said.

and i can't do headstands, are you kidding me?
those are for people who can do more than just barely stand on their own two feet without falling over in yoga class (which i totally do, my balance poses are not the  most awesome.)

so this teacher had us all pull our mats to the wall.
and then she walked us through it

and suddenly!

i wasn't doing it.
i mean, i got the idea of it, but i rarely use my core strength like i need to
and i just couldn't get up.

Master Dictator Yoga Instructor marched over to me.
"I've got you," she said, "just go."

so here's the thing.
there's a lot of things i believe i'm not yet strong enough to do.
like headstands.
but as soon as someone
that i know has far greater experience and knowledge in a given field says
"go. you can do this."
i try.
and they often will help me and guide me and spot me through it
and suddenly
i'm so very happy to be doing amazing things.

such it was with this headstand.
i'm balancing my weight upside down on my head.
i've built my body up
used my core and grrrrrrrrrrr pulled into my abs
and BAM
i'm upside down.

i look over at aaron, who is watching, having already been upsdie down a few times (he's awesome like that,) and he's just grinning like a big goofball.

that headstand was amazing.
and it's all i ever want to do anymore.

i take yoga twice a week now.
i used to do it close to four or five times a week
and gosh! i still wish i did, and maybe i will,
but i'm finding balance between sleeping, waitressing, working, and exercising still.

anyway, last tuesday, i woke up at 5:20 to make it across town in time for a 6 am yoga class.
we didn't do headstands, and i was totally disappointed.

when i got back home, i quietly scanned the new space in the kitchen.
what with all the cleaning and organizing (the like of which makes aaron practically pull his hair out,) there was a beautiful expanse of floor just calling for me to work on.

so i did.

i rolled my yoga mat out into the kitchen
scooched it up and shifted it a little
and then
placed my hands
placed my head
walked my feet up
and jumped my legs into the air.

i held, suspended, for maybe three strong solid seconds

and then

my back tottered down and i solidly hit the floor like a felled tree.

i paused.
waited to see if aaron's slumber was even mildly roused by an unexpected WHUMP at 7:30 in the morning in his kitchen.

it wasn't.

i went back to my practice.

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