worst yoga class of my life

I have an excellent yoga studio.

EXCELLENT.

the place is small, with dedicated, focused, diverse teachers

that all offer different reasons for going to work out.

the room is great. cork floor, bamboos walls, warm enough to move.

and it's pretty darn cheap -- a hundred buckaroonies a month for unlimited classes.

i go about three times a week.

monday

 was the worst yoga class of my life.

in recollection, a horror of slasher proportions.

the kind of thing that makes me grimace and my neck twitch.

that still bums me out when i recall the experience.

even if maybe it wasn't so bad. :)

our ukranian instructor was teaching.

which, upon not being used to her, is quite severe in itself.

imagine being told to focus and relax by a russian anarchist.

she's kind of the same.

and also, she doesn't understand fire alarms.

imagine focusing, relaxing, breathing, zoning in, balancing, releasing

and suddenly

in the middle of a tiny room

where your focus is loose and pointed at the same time

A HUGE HIGH-PITCHED FIRE ALARM GOES OFF

complete

WITH WHITE FLASHING LIGHTS.

FLASH

NOISE

FLASH

NOISE

FLASH

imagine that.

imagine that you scream and drop immediately into child's pose.

crouching, covering your head, hiding your ears

waiting for the a-bomb to actually commence

imagine that it continues.

on and off

for the rest of the class.

so you drop and cry a lot.

it's entirely unpredictable.

nobody knows when and how it will go off, or how long it will last.

which is the horror of it.

so you continue your practice

ONLY TO BE BASICALLY ELECTRICALLY SHOCKED

over

and over

and

over

again.

 monday night yoga. the worst class of my life.

but like i said, my studio is EXCELLENT,

providing the best practice,

the best teachers, the best location,

and the best service.

they gave me some free stuff.

like this awesome hilarious mc yogi elephant power cd.

ancient wisdom of yoga paired with dub.

work it.

mc yogi