Saturday, May 5, 2012

on commitment: or my evening with the Bengals

here's something that surprises me:
i am in a healthy relationship.

there's a point in life where you look at someone 
you breathe with someone
and you go, "YOU. I will say yes to you, always."
and it comes from the heart, the guts, the head, the deep, deep part of me that i hold and i trust and i listen to confidently.
"Aaron," says my self, "Aaron is this One."

So we live our lives.
Aaron gets up to go build things in a theatre all day
and I sleep in (soon! i hope) to get up at four and work in a restaurant till midnight.

i get talked to a lot.
let's note: there is a fine line between (a) being talked to, and (b) being hit on.
let's note secondly: there is a DEFINITE, DISTINCT canyon between (a) talking back and (b) flirting back.

i talk back.

i'm certain you are not surprised that the second a and b's get confused, often.
they do.

let's say that i'm having a conversation with The Politician. 
let's say that four Bengal football players sit down at the bar
ask me for refills
ask for my name
my number
my work schedule
and chat me up about where i was born.

and let's say i talk back.
let's say that i tell The Politician he has three opportunities for me to give him my time.

let's say i tell the bengals that if i see them three more times in the restaurant that i might go get a drink with them.

it's the Initial Stage.
the "my waitress is cute and can talk too!" stage.
the stage where they think they like me.
so they ask me out,
i say no,
they do it again.

i say, "what is my time worth to you,"
and they say "everything."

then we play the cards.
most of the time, they leave.

most of the time, 
they come back.

and some of the time,
they interest me.

i LOVE talking to people 
i LOVE spending time with people.
my experiences with people
have shaped and colored my life
i make choices, i learn from EVERYONE.

i love understanding people, listening to them, sharing with them.

so when it suits me,
 i lay my cards on the table,
"i have a boyfriend," i say. "one that i love completely. 
now that you know that, we can get a drink if you would still like to."

sometimes they say yes, most of the time it fizzles out, and some of the time they say no.

this is all okay with me.
of all things
i have played my cards as they should be played.

i took care of my customer,
took care of myself,
and took care of my Aaron.

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