Ask a Lady: My Best Friend Sucks

okay well like a year ago i went through the hardest part of my life and really, really needed really strong support systems around me. i found them! i had really great family and friends, including my best friend who lives half-way across the country and would check in on me and check in to see how i was doing, and stay updated on what was happening to me.


flashback a year before that, when she came to my graduation and i promised to come to hers.


flashforward to her being there for me, and extending an invitation to come visit her for like, three weeks around christmas time, which i accepted.


so apparently she gets really busy.
and the time for me to make plans about coming to visit happens and i make plans to be there for ten days. and i buy a plane ticket that costs over 300 dollars. and she calls me and is all, umm maybe like seven days. and then calls me again, and says maybe three. then, actually, i think i'm the one doing the calling because she NEVER picks up her phone or calls back and is always busy and always not available, and she ends up telling me that actually she probably won't be able to hang out with me at all when i'm in town because she has things going on and bullsh*t, etc. so i tell her i'm disappointed in her, and i am and just stop talking to her. because, honestly, still recovering kind of and getting my life back on track, i just don't need wishy-washy people in my life.


but now i do not know where to go from here.
she's called me to apologize and i missed the call on accident and listened to the message and didn't hear anything in the message that led me to believe she really had a change of heart. like, she owned up to what she did, but didn't really care.
and i really miss her, really miss my best friend, but.....i just don't need that drama. that childish-ness. who totally blips out on their friends like that?


anyway, her birthday was a little bit ago, and i can't help thinking about her and wondering if i should mend the fences.


thanks for the help


compassion-less

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herrrrrm.

how interesting.

i've got a situation like that on my hands, as well.

you sound like you're kind of okay with the situation, as is.

so let it play out.

if you're thinking about her, let her know, however you see fit, and let that be enough.

you're so far away anyway that maybe this is one of those "growing apart" places in life, and it's not actually going to affect your day to day life, other than making you miss her.

and that's okay.

missing nice people and nice times happen.

but since you can't actually know how she is operating or what she is choosing in her own life

you're basically just missing the good memories you have of her

which could not even be true to who she is as a person now, anyway.

so just let it go.

it'll figure itself out.

sorry about your heartbreak. :(

love,

lady x

accessorizin

look

i love bright colors.

that we can believe.

but there comes a point

where a lady thinks to herself

"hey,

let's see what else i can do with other colors

perhaps browns and maroons and deep purples

or muted pastels, blushes, lavendars."

and a lady will go forth with it.

i've been going forth with it

investing in some colors

turquoise, forest green

interesting bits and pieces that are composing a very interesting wardrobe

but i bought

three weeks ago

whilst on the panic-y search for a dress to wear to a wedding

a BRIGHT green, mod-ish dress

something that was super inexpensive online

and something that i knew would fit well, given the style.

well, it did

and it does

and the fact that i bought it so inexpensively weeks ago

keeps me from running out and buying every perfect "on sale" dress at another website

for the next wedding o' the summer coming up

but now

i have this VERY GREEN dress

sitting in my closet

and it needs some womanly updates

so as to not look as childish.

i'm thinking a statement necklace could take the cake

but obvs not this last one

even though it's my favorite

because it's over 300 dollars.

hello! that's almost a loan payment.

R&R

i head into the bistro at 1:40

for a 2:00 meeting

a 3:00 "on the clock," time

and a very full rainy-day shift, ending, perhaps, around 11:30.

but this morning

was all about rest and relaxation.

i slept like a baby

woke up like a champ

yoga-ed like a pro (meaning, i'm pretty sure i almost passed out,)

ran errands like a boss

and showered like a babe.

hmmmm, full circle, no?

:)

if you'd like

have an 8-minute listen to lululemon's latest guided meditation

found right on their blog.

i did.

i felt good.

love you,

allyson

Rosehill Inn Bed and Breakfast; Wilmington, North Carolina

one vacation and four plane rides ago

aaron and i took a little wedding visit/vacay

to wilmington, north carolina.

btw--while we're thinking about it--

what's actually the difference between a VACATION, and a MINI-VACATION?

i was going to write "mini vacay" up above

but i decided pretty quickly 

that

even though it was only three days

it certainly felt like an actual vacation to me.

SO.

we took a vacation.

and we stayed in a local bed and breakfast.

now, my friends, 

there's a lot to be said for the brave folk  that find the phone number of a bed and breakfast online and call them up sight unseen to make a reservation to stay for a few days.

especially when said B&B makes a point of not really advertising online (we just don't need it,)

and every other B&B in the area happens to be full for that weekend because

there are at least seven other weddings going on in the area that month

and your boyfriend didn't know to plan enough in advance to secure a room with pals,

(which, actually, more than worked to our advantage as I got to take the reigns in trip planning, 

and we found ourselves together for the first time on our first ever "no strings attached (to the real world) vacation.)

so we found ourselves at Rosehill Bed and Breakfast

a very splendid place indeed.

Large, Victorian, to-be-expected Bed and Breakfast joint

It sprawled out into a parking lot, multiple gardens, and wraparound porch.

We clambered out of the car and eight hours of Harry Potter audio book

onto a welcoming, lovely front steps

and rang the doorbell to announce our arrival.

Manned by a family of three, we were greeted at Rosehill by the estate's resident Son.

He checked us in, but not before giving us maps and orienting us in terms of the town and local attractions.

The place was freaking gorgeous.

Think classically victorian furniture, wall paper, etc.

Freaking amazing.

We were shown to our room, where we promptly collapsed and sunk into a fantastically comfortable bed.

The rest of the weekend went like this: wake up. eat breakfast. go out. site see. do some wedding stuff. sight see. back to hotel. collapse. thank god we had a good B&B. repeat.

(I will have it noted that in Wilmington, North Carolina, all business establishments have a sanitation rating posted. our B&B was the only one with a 100.0 % rating. WAHOO!)

The best, and most lovely, aspect of this B&B by far was the breakfast portion of the joint.

A large, communal table was set every morning 

for the number of guests residing in the inn at any one evening.

As we clambered down the steps at 9, sleepy-eyed, tousle-haired, we were greeting IMMEDIATELY by our choice of juice, water, or coffee, and were quickly given a FANTASTIC heaping plate of breakfast delicacy. 

It was amazing. 

The menu was varied, healthy, and complex. 

Of course, the service was divine (and as it should be 

every time one is dining in any business establishment.)

We guests chatted and conversed, connecting,

 and REALLY setting ourselves up for a sweet day in Wilmington. 

I just freaking loved this breakfast time, and wish, upon all things, that I had had more time to chat with the innkeepers throughout the course of the stay. They were lovely, charming, respectful people, and I am beyond delighted that I found their B&B. 

If we ever return to Wilmington, we will CERTAINLY stay again. 

Well worth the price, and well worth the discount they gave us. 

(discounts are always worth it, obvs.)

Such a fantastic joint.

PRESS: Wilmington, North Carolina

The wedding reception of Liana and Ben's wedding was held in a restaurant.

WHICH IS AWESOME, BTW.

Actually, it was part-restaurant, part-bar, part-reception hall

which made it really good for a wedding.

I liked it.

It was super chic for a wedding reception,

and when I asked to look at a menu,

they happily obliged,

and i realized pretty quickly that "Press" constituted that all the items on their menu were made with presses.

Paninis, waffles, espresso--that type of thing.

We decided to come back the next day for brunch.

We did.

It was pretty good.

Service is what really makes the difference, and our service as so-so.

One of the members of our party asked the waitress to take a picture, and she said, "QUICKLY!" as if she could not be bothered to be interrupted in the flow of waitressing at that moment. I am a waitress, and I say to you, fellow waitresses, YOUR JOB IS TO TAKE THE TIME TO DO YOUR JOB WELL.

Do not let me, as your guest, feel like I am the problem. I am the reason you are making money.

Our food took forever to get out, the waitresses kept forgetting things we asked for, and we sat for awhile.

We didn't mind, we had a large group of friends to dine with, but still. The experience was so-so.

I had a chai latte.

It was amazing and delicious.

Somebody at our table ordered a belgian waffle and i just about died to see how boring and massive it looked.

Obviously, this press place has no idea what a belgian waffle actually is.

aaron and i both ordered french toast

which was a mistake

because it was HUGE and we had five pieces left over between the two of us, which he ate the next day.

The french toast was FANTASTIC, with vanilla cream and bananas and cinnamon on thick toast.

WORTH IT. 

And then, again, someone ordered a sad plate of "chicken and waffle," in which a chicken breast was slapped with some swiss cheese and slapped between and ugly waffle and slapped on a plate and they called it "done." 

It's ugly.

And obviously, again, PRESS is not a belgian bistro that does fantastic belgian food.

suckas!

the babies are ladies!

so i'm gonna say

with a lot of pride

that i dressed these ladies for their graduation.

that's right, folks,

the twins,

the sweet babies of 18 years

can no longer be called babies any longer.

they graduated HIGH SCHOOL!

and as is custom in american culture

i'm gonna say that they're officially making their own way now.

gosh, such a beginning.

but with these faces

how can you not see only the greatest coming for them??

:D

i'm decorating and waiting for their party now

and it's going well.

we're all happy to be together

and happy to celebrate the twinklies.

kristen's little adventurer

turns out,

kristen got a little kitten.

his name is Hunt

after Dr. Hunt

on some tv show she loves

and Dr. Hunt apparently thinks he's about forty times bigger than he actually is.

"fearless"

i deemed him,

in terms of he is a little kitten in a very big world.

suddenly, he'll dart out from a hiding place

paws flailing

all cavalier to battle whatever he deems worthy

be it table legs, rocks, leaves, shadows.

he is a valiant and noble fighter.

and at the end of the day

he really, really

just wants to be loved and cuddled. <3

NO CRABBING says Wilmington, NC

Beach Style: Wilmington Edition

sure, sure

it isn't entirely necessary to keep style in mind when you're frolicking amidst the sand and waves

but

i'll say

that

if i'm going to suddenly be baring a LOT of flesh

and

if that flesh is going to be in very important places

then i'm gonna take note of what i'm putting on my body.

modcloth provided my suit this year

an esther williams

and, like all the reviews say, i definitely sized up.

it works fantastically.

i paired it with trouser cut denim jeans from gap for the city time

and like a fool wore them to the beach thinking i wasn't going to go jumping right in the water the moment i got the chance.

"what's that?" aaron said, pointing to my turquoise necklace. "it doesn't go."

OF COURSE IT DOES.

my mind screamed.

I CHOSE IT.

fashion is about doing whatever you want

and being confident about it.

sure, there are minor rules like lines and flattering cuts,

but, past that, DO WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT AND STOP JUDGING, BF!

what's that? you thought it was okay to pair white socks with a dress suit?

we see who has the fashion intuition now.... 

:P

Ask a Lady: Panty Problems

Lady X,

COLLEGE graduation is coming up!! It's such an exciting time filled with many emotions! It feels like my high school graduation was just yesterday! Making plans with friends, planning parties, and finding the perfect graduation DRESS!!!

For high school it was a sweet pretty white little number. This time, for college, I wanted to recreate the high school white dress look, but more mature, so I ended up finding a dress at somewhere I wouldn't have anticipated- Vicky's!! (see attached pic) (don't worry- it doesn't look as risqué on me as it does the ooh-la-la Vicky's model!) 

anyways, my dilemma! I'm excited to wear it for graduation, BUT- all my family and boyfriend's family will be there to see me as well, and well, I have.... a MOLE on my gluteus maximus area that can sometimes be seen through the dress if standing at the right angle. I don't want my booty to be the star of my graduation! Please tell me it's still okay to wear the dress! Suggestions? Advice? HELP?! (Keep the giggles and jokes to a minimum please!!! ;) ) 

Love,

Holy mole-y!

-------------------------------------------------

Oh, Moley one.

How old are you and yet you still don't know how to wear underwear properly? Nude underwear goes with everything. I learned this back in high school watching Tyra of America's Next Top Model.
 It's perfect. Use it.

You don't like panty-lines?

Get the no-panty line kind. 

You want a continuous, firm line? Go to Macy's or Dillard's and look at their shape wear.

I'm a curvy lady, and I know a good girdle when I see one. 

TRY A SLIP.

It looks like you haven't really investigated your options for this. 

THEY MAKE WHAT YOU WANT. NOW GO TRY ON UNDERWEAR.

Also,

and the biggest part of this,

if you can see A MOLE on your behind

(which, honestly, at this point, let it show, nobody is looking, and if they are, they like it,)

you can also probably see your lady parts "when standing at the right angle."

If your dress is thin enough that you can see shaded areas of your private parts,

you need to wear underwear.

So, yes, wearing the dress if fine.

 Don't go commando.

Lady X

brides

i know brides don't get their photos back from their wedding for a few weeks.

and if you're my friend, sarah,

it turns out you don't get your photos bad for months!

and i know i'm a basically talented photographer

with a low-level camera

when i choose to carry it with me.

and i like to shoot these shots.

i like to see this bride

beautiful and serene.

and then i like to post them on Facebook

or email them to her

or put them on my blog

so she sees pics immediately

ones that are in focus

are calm

are serene

are beautiful

like her

and their day.

Helping Hands

Wedding weekends are weekends of bonding.

Aaron and I made it into Wilmington Friday around 4pm.

We'd left that morning at 8 am, 

was on the road the day before, too,

and sheesh were we happy to roll into town and relax.

So we did.

We checked in to the cutest little B&B

and to our delight,

discovered that we were approximately ONE BLOCK

away from all that weekends wedding evening events.

We wandered around the little town

met up with Aaron's high school buddy, Anderson,

and wallowed our way along the river walk 

looking for a place to nom.

We finally decided on some place overlooking the water.

We chose it because we wanted a balcony seat

upon entering,

we were told we could not have a balcony seat

but that we could sit upstairs, if we wanted to.

we said okay.

then, we could not have the doors open in the room we were in

and also, they didn't know what st. germaine was.

aaron's food was amazing

anderson's food was amazing

and my food was okay.

i was disappointed in this little place

but, oh well, because now i can't even remember it's name

and it's not that big of a deal.

(i wouldn't recommend it to you anyway.)

ANyway

we did more wandering

some deserting

and i bought some jewelry

and then aaron and i headed to the B&B for a rest

and Anderson promised to send a text our way when everyone ended up getting together that night.

you see

it was Rehearsal Dinner night.

and the three of us, not being in the wedding party,

were pretty much killing time till we could all hang out.

and then HANG OUT WE DID!

luckily, everyone was already drunksy

as is so likely to happen on wedding weekends

so when aaron said, "this is my girlfriend, allyson,"

and the bride grabbed me and hugged me and said "DO YOU WANT TO HELP MAKE FLOWERS?!"

i was all about it.

they gave me a beer.

and a lot of champagne.

we crowded into a room

and the girls went to town

floral arrangements

photos in frames

signs in frames

and lots of stories.

i think i bared my panties at one part of the evening

and aaron almost had a legitimate opportunity to flash a couchful of ladies.

i was THRILLED to be involved.

i don't know these people!

i don't know anything about them!

and yet!

here i was, drinking beer and arranging roses.

we chatted about all kinds of things

their past weddings

the current ones

how everyone knew the bride and groom

and later,

when aaron stepped into the hotel room to find me and scoot our booties off to home

it was a happy, cheerful lady indeed he found, awaiting.